...and I am terrified.
I feel that the closer we get to finishing, the more the black cloud of nursing school looms closer and closer over my head and the anxiety settles in more. Last semester I probably cried at least once a week, and had this constant tightness on my chest like an elephant (and ask everyone else and they'd say they did too), so now that it's almost over, I just wish I could relish the last days and not worry about it.
Granted I won't miss my 530-830pm classes 3x a week (which lasted til 930pm all during the summer) with my two 12 hr clinical shifts (which I have 3 of 5 semesters on Saturday and Sunday, and have been done a few weeks now and I still cannot believe it!), but it definitely leaves me feeling anxious when I think about taking my last test, and then beginning my comprehensive studying for my final.
Our finals are never ever easy -- they are a culmination of all we've learned, but random things are thrown in and with that and my humongously natural test anxiety, and it being 8am, leaves me feeling crazy.
My average currently dropped some and without including my last test exam and whatever it will be (prayyyy!) currently I need to get a 61 on the final to have a 76 average (which is considered a C and passing nursing school). Any normal person would be like "hey that is soooo beyond easy! no sweat!" but uh, plentyyyy of people have bombed the finals and I made a 71 on last years after studying every waking moment.
So as I sit and wait and clean and reclean everything in my house, reorganize, do laundry, listen to lecture ad nauseum, cry, have panic attacks, call my mom repeatedly, pray for peace and plead for wisdom, and slowly mark off the last remaining days til it's finally over, I ask you -- what makes you anxious and how do you deal??
PS: I guess the eternal grasp for peace part of it could be my "Want It Wednesday" -- two birds, one stone, you know how I roll.